Reasons

Knowing the reasons why I need to accomplish my goals in life is so important.

Not only weight loss goals but any goals. Keeping a blog, or a journal is very important as well. I want to lose this weight for a lot of reasons, #1 is to be on the earth longer, and to have a healthy life, with my kids and one day grandkids. My mom died at the age of 62. In todays world that is incredibly young, she was a smoker for many years, but did manage to quit later in life, but the damage had been done, Ive read that damage to your lungs from smoking can never be reversed, however quitting can prevent any future damage. Thanks goodness I never smoked, but crazy as it sounds I did marry a smoker, and I cant tell you how many times I have questioned that decision. My husband has no intention of quitting, he smokes outside, I have NEVER allowed it in my home. I preach the dangers to my boys, Josh and Adam, they seem to get it, they are young, but my influence with them has always been strong, I pray that it will carry on with them not ever smoking, my teenage son Josh is 16, and he speaks poorly of smokers, and its consequences, which is music to my ears!!!:)

So I was discussing my mothers death at age 62, she had heart damage, from a lot of reasons, poor diet, lack of exercise, being a smoker most of her adult life.  to make a long story short, she had heart bypass surgery, never fully regained strength, or stamina to exercise, and had another heart attack, went into a coma, a for a week never woke up, the Dr. told us, she was brain dead, and probably wouldnt wake up, after that week of much prayer and hesitation, we chose to remove her from life support, she died 20 minutes later, watching my mother die in front of me, was the hardest experience of my life, and there have been others, but that was the worst. I dont wish it on my worst enemy.
I never want my kids to go through anything that tramatic. The Dr. also told us that she had the heart of an 80 yr, old woman. that was really hard to hear, she had worked hard, in a factory, where she stood for very long hours on a concrete floor, in a bread factory.

I wasnt ready to let go of her, I wasnt ready to lose the only person in my life who loved me that much. I had to, I had no choice. I couldnt watch her lie there and be connected to machines that were keeping her heart beating, it was indescribeable pain.

So back to my original message, I want to be healthy for my kids, I just turned 48, and Im only 14 years away from the age she was when she died, I have a lot of living left to do. I want to feel good, to feel vibrant, to wake up with a zest for life, and be able to see all the positive things life has to offer me, and my family.
I also want to be noticed, not as the "fat" mom, or the fat woman, but the pretty lady. If I might sound vain for just a moment, forgive me, but I'd also like to walk by a group of constuction guys, and maybe get a second look, or even a whistle. it wasnt so long ago that did actually happen if my world, or at least it doesnt seem like it. Is that so wrong????
I had my last son Adam at age 40, he was one of the greatest blessings of my life, My pregnancy with Josh, was very strained, I was hight risk, and he had to be delivered early due to complications of preeclampsia. Both his life and mine were in great jeapardy. I never thought there would be another child, but I always knew Josh needed a brother, and that was my goal, after I lost 30 pounds we were pregnant again, by choice, and on our way to a fantastic journey again, but this time my great Dr, Smith referred my to a specialist who diaognosed my condition, and put me on meds, and I was able to go full term, however my Dr, decided to deliver Adam 2 weeks early just to be safe, he was fully developed and ready, that was a joyous day for me, One of many.
So, I want to be able to enjoy my boys, and one day enjoy their children, I didnt have any girls, so Im hoping they will give me a granddaughter, that I can spoil, and love.

• My poor mother only got to know my first son, only for 1 year he was born in March, and she died the next March. Its almost the anniversary of her death, March 30, and I hardly ever visit the grave, its just too sad for me. I want my boys to have me around to enjoy them, and their lives, as long as possible. Its not too late to decide to get healthy, even little things make a difference. One more thing Im really proud of, both my boys love Brocolli, that may sound strange to throw in this post at the end, but it just goes to show how starting out with good habits early in life, can stay with you forever, they dont eat every veggie, but brocolli is acceptable, my husband hates it, but I always told him to never talk bad about good foods to them, let them be healthly, Im competimg with  a multitude of fast food giants who want their souls, I do let them have that junk sometimes, but I have always served a veggie, and fruit with their meals at home, thats how they will serve their children, good habits can live on forever, There are many reasons for wanting to lose this weight, but the greatest is my love for my children, and the strength they give me everyday.

me, my sister and my mom I was around 12